Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Romantic Obsession in the Dark Moments

He wasn't happy only when he sees her, thinking of her was making him feel excited too. Ben was wondering why he feels so good whenever he meets Sarah. Her absence didn't unlit his love, because she was with him all the time.

Ben have decided to stay with her even when he is lay in his bed alone, even when he is walking or just going shopping alone. Yeah, she was always with him. She was in every function of his mind. She has occupied his imagination, creativity, logic and every single neuron that was still alive.

But why? Why so much thoughts about Sarah? But, how could he abandon his sweet angel that enlightened all his world? How could he give up all the sensations of feeling alive like green trees in the spring? No, he couldn't stop thinking of her, because they weren't just thoughts. They were the source of his breathing and enjoying it like he never enjoyed before.

It hurts a bit, because he knows she doesn't feel the same about him, however the happiness he experiences when he is with her is worthy of all that pain. But, why didn't she respond to him recent days? Ben was in big doubts and he couldn't find the answers even though he tried so much.

Suddenly some black thoughts replaced all his temporary happy thoughts. He was wondering what kind of psycho he was that he was still thinking about someone who doesn't care how much he loves her? Maybe he is sick and weak to stop remembering her.

He tried to think something else, to do something in order to delete the images of Sarah from his minds. Oh good, it seems easy for Ben, but a deep voice inside his head was calling him. He hardly hears what it is saying. Then the voice was talking louder.

It was screaming: ''Why are you killing me? Didn't I make you the happiest person on earth? I want to be alive within you.'' It was Ben's desire to have Sarah. It was Ben's thoughts about her screaming and crying in order to make him forgive it. Oh, it was too late to stop thinking of her. Maybe it's just impossible now. Thinking of her by feeling pain and happy at the same time. Was this really the only option?

Time passed and Ben ignored the voices that were screaming inside his head until they died. During that time he learnt that some people shouldn't make him feel happy. He had to know how ordinary and mindless they really are before he allows himself to feel something about them. So quickly he found that many people didn't really deserve his high considerations. After that it wasn't satisfying to stay with them, nor thinking about them. Maybe he was too young and he couldn't know people properly.

Obsession was too strong at first cases then it slowed down related to how well he learnt to know others. Hecck, people aren't angels, nor devils. They are just human beings and they can mistakenly don't appreciate someone. Why should this fact hurt Ben. No, people aren't perfect, maybe they are wrong, it would be silly to suffer. How can he feel pain when he knows that people sometimes act and think too wrong?

Nothing personal. Nobody likes rejection and everybody loves attention, but wait a bit, many often they aren't personal, they are wrong, so don't allow them make you obsessed.

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Read related stories below:
The story of four candles
The story of an unlucky couple
Never forget what you deserve